


times running out, keep your eyes up

by redlipstickkisses



Series: Poems by Kai [20]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Autobiography, Body Dysphoria, Death, Dissociation, Dysphoria, Gender Dysphoria, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Loneliness, Panic Attacks, Running Away, Snakes, Statues, i'm not even sure i'm a person, like wow, spot the heathers reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 00:15:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13329438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redlipstickkisses/pseuds/redlipstickkisses
Summary: If I died tomorrow, what would I leave behind?I’m the only one awakeIt would be so easy to just drop it allYou have to die to be reborn





	times running out, keep your eyes up

Loneliness turns me to a statue slumped in a chair 

As desperation turns my mind into a wild animal 

Frantically scrambling to tear its way free

 

I can feel the strong lines that define me

Blurring

Running

Erased away

As my edges blend into the darkness surrounding me

 

If I died tomorrow the world would keep on spinning 

 

The panic slitters through my ribs like a snake and I long to shed this suffocating skin

 

I’m the only one awake

It would be so easy to just drop it all

Leave behind the accounts and the cards and the family and the name that never fits right

empty the bank account and leave with the clothes on my back 

just run-hitchhike-pray my way to wherever fate takes me

 

If I died tomorrow the world would keep on spinning 

Sometimes I wonder though;

 

I think of all the things that could go wrong

What it takes to make a person

it stops me. 

I don’t want to lose my friends or my nephew

~~ but sometimes I wonder if he wouldn't be better off without me.  ~~

~~ I’ve already lost my parents  ~~

~~ did my sister ever know me to start with? ~~

 

If I died tomorrow the world would keep on spinning 

Sometimes I wonder though

_ If I died tomorrow, what would I leave behind? _

 

You have to die to be reborn

Cut all the ties and burn all the bridges

Become a dead man walking 

A living ghost

 

The problem with that is you can never rest in peace


End file.
